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Switching positions: This is what the future of intimacy, pleasure and wellness really looks like

The sextech market is growing, and the conversation is changing. Now, Bryony Cole is bringing her weekend-long sextech hackathon to Melbourne.
sextech
Bryony Cole on the Pause Fest stage. Photo: Priscilla Pho.

Sextech is a growing market, and while it may once have been synonymous with seedy, the conversation has moved towards wellness, pleasure and enhancing connection. But still, according to Bryony Cole, founder and producer of the podcastย Future of Sex, there could be a point where things go too far.

Speaking at Pause Fest in Melbourne last week, Cole noted that technology is well and truly intermingled with our lives now.

โ€œBut sex? Sex is really hard to talk about.โ€

Traditionally, the way sex is marketed is either clinical, focused on solving a sexual problem, or as something โ€œdark and naughtyโ€, relegated to the dark corners of the internet and seen as something sleazy.

โ€œItโ€™s really hard for us to talk about sexual pleasure, which makes it really hard to talk about opportunities in sextech,โ€ Cole said.

But, having worked in this space for the past four years, Cole has seen it grow from a $20 billion industry to a $30 billion one.

โ€œIn five yearsโ€™ time, as part of the sexual wellness market, itโ€™s estimated to reach $123 billion,โ€ she said.

At the same time, sheโ€™s seen a shift in the industry toward people taking it more seriously.

โ€œSexuality has gone from this whispered-about taboo to this fully-blown conversation weโ€™re having today,โ€ she noted.

Now, Cole is bringing the first sextech-focused hackathon to Melbourne. Next weekend, the founder is inviting people to come together to build solutions in the sextech space.

The program has run in Sydney, Singapore and New York already, and Cole will be particularly on the lookout for sextech focused on education, health and wellness, and disability inclusivity.

Historically, when people think of sextech, itโ€™s robots, VR porn and vibrators that spring to mind.

But, tech relating to the self can be much more wholesome, Cole says. Think womenโ€™s sexual pleasure app OMGyes or even the startup creating lab-grown genitals for amputees.

Actually, itโ€™s when sextech is applied to relationships when things get scary.

โ€œThereโ€™s always this fear that technology is going to replace us.โ€

Cole pointed to tech like the โ€˜Kissingerโ€™, which transmits the exact sense of a partnerโ€™s kiss, and toys allowing people to control each othersโ€™ toys remotely.

However, she also introduced Gatebox AI, a hologram girlfriend that gets your house ready for when you return, and also sends โ€˜I miss youโ€™ texts while youโ€™re out.

When the tech was released, it sold out within the first week, Cole said. Now, there have been about 3,700 human-hologram marriage certificates issued.

โ€œIt really struck me how lonely people are, and how much they crave connection,โ€ Cole said.

โ€œIs technology the thing to do the job for us?โ€

As it becomes more integrated into peopleโ€™s everyday lives, โ€œtechnology starts to behave more like a human โ€ฆ and humans are behaving more like technologyโ€, she added.

โ€œThat really is something we have to question when weโ€™re thinking about technology in the context of sexuality and intimacy,โ€ she said.

โ€œBecause itโ€™s such a difficult topic, itโ€™s often hard to get to those questions.โ€

For Cole, no matter how good sextech gets, itโ€™s not going to be able to replace human connection. And thatโ€™s not what technology is for, anyway. Itโ€™s there to enhance relationships, not replace them.

โ€œThatโ€™s where we need to shift the lens.โ€

Between tech in the health and wellness and pleasure space, tech thatโ€™s helping solve social issues and combat sexual crime, and tech helping people to be intimate with each other, there are many, many applications for sextech.

โ€œWhat does the best tech do?โ€ she asked.

โ€œThe best tech enhances our lives, extends our capacity to experience. It allows us to take action.โ€

But, ultimately, the future of sex isnโ€™t about technology.

โ€œThe future of sex has nothing to do with technology and everything to do with us,โ€ she said.

โ€œIf we donโ€™t get it right in normalising the conversation about sexuality, we wonโ€™t be anywhere.โ€

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