If I buy a fake Chrissie tree will it kill our tradition?

Dear Aunty B,

I run a small company and every year we buy a beautiful pine Christmas tree for our very little office and we all decorate it all together at lunchtime while singing Christmas carols. True!

This year out of consideration for the environment, I suggested that the office manager go out and source a good looking artificial tree.

She quickly spread word around the office and next thing I had an uproar on my hands with the young people particularly upset, saying there was enough change at the moment without them having to deal with a different Christmas tree and they loved the spell of fresh pine in the office.

Quite frankly I was shocked because they are more “green” than a row of pines and I thought they would welcome my new environmental stance.

What do I do? Do I stand my ground? Or will it kill our tradition?

Trying To Be Green,
Melbourne

Dear Trying To Be Green,

Are you nuts? Honestly. Why on earth did you ask their opinion? Of course they prefer real pine trees, like they enjoy home cooked meals, milk in the fridge and pocket money.

You have taken the wrong tact, mate. You’re the boss and can buy a twig and hang skulls on it if you want – which quite frankly would be in line with economic – and environmental – predictions and would save you having to lecture everyone about cost cutting next year.

If you really want to do your bit for the environment, just go out and buy an artificial tree! Arrive back at the office and tell them pine is passe and black is the new green. (Mind you, you will also be doing your bit for Kevin’s economy – a groovy black Christmas tree at Woolies, which apparently are the latest thing this year, will set you back almost $100!!)

You will have to dump the home made chains and tinsels though, as they would look awful on a black modern Christmas tree. Instead you would have to buy mint or crystal blue baubles and don’t forget the oil burner with the pine fragrance that you will have to waft around the office by fanning it with your annual report.

As to whether it will kill tradition, mmmm, probably. Everyone will whinge when putting up the decorations and maybe sing “Ding Dong Merrily on High” repeatedly because they know you hate it.

But what the hell. You’ll feel green with the new black – and at least you won’t be picking out bloody pine needles from in between the car seats for the next month.

Good luck,

Your Aunty B