Did I overreact? But I don’t want to say sorry.

Dear Aunty B,

Last Friday I went to an industry lunch and was seated next to a heavyweight that I have wanted to meet for a long time. My business has a fairly high profile in the industry and I was sure he had heard of me. After 10 minutes of listening to a long and boring story of how he had conceived his third child, (his company had to fly his wife “in” at the right time of the month so they could do the deed, I kid you not), I tried to change the subject and asked him if he had been busy and did he note a pick up in the industry?

He made a few comments and then asked me if I worked.

I told him that I was the founder of my company and he then said to me in a really patronising manner: “That sounds fun”.

Then he asked me if I worked from home. I was so cross by this stage that I turned to him and asked him if he had daughters. He told me that he did and so I gave him a huge lecture on how would he feel when one his daughters grows up, spends decades on study, takes the huge step of raising money, starts her own business, divorces a husband who won’t support her and raises two kids as a single mum while building her business, only to sit next to someone she has wanted to meet in the industry for a long time, only to be asked patronising questions about working from home and her business being fun.

He looked stunned and then I didn’t know what to do so I got up and walked off!

Did I overreact and should I call and say sorry even though I am not.

Not so annoyed now,
Mel

Dear Not so annoyed,

That made me laugh! The poor bloke. There he was, full of his pompous, over-inflated view of how interesting his own life was – although I have to admit I was intrigued as to how a company would justify flights for conception purposes in the middle of a GFC and I admire your restraint in not pursuing this conversation. Then for a split second into his consciousness pops the thought that he should be polite and ask you a question.

And then he follows it up with the typical stuff that all women get, based on assumptions that men make about women running their own businesses and you blast him.

And what a blast that was. He will never forget it. And you have done us all a favour.

But yes you overreacted. Here is what to do. Ring him up and ask him for coffee. Laugh away your first encounter and talk about the future. Make sure you take some gossip about the industry that he is sure not to have heard of and name drop shamelessly so that he sees how well networked you are.

Finally, ask him for some advice. Before you know it you’ll be best friends.

Good luck!
Your Aunty B

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