Am I being overlooked due to my new grey hair?

Dear Aunty,

I would value your opinion on this! I am a 58 year old woman and run my own business in a non-glamorous industry (education).

A few years ago I decided to stop dyeing my hair, mainly because of the hassle. (Most of my family wemt grey in their 20s.) I now have shoulder length hair that is silver and that my friends tell me looks sophisticated. However, I have noticed a subtle change in people’s attitude towards me.

Some examples: the other day at a meeting hands were being shaken and I was overlooked. I am finding it harder to break into groups at networking functions and people stand up for me on trams.

The other day one of my employees told me to put my feet up and have a cup of tea. I nearly hit her!

I am not sure it is my head or in my head, if you know what I mean.

What do you think Aunty? Should I re-dye my hair? Or am I imagining all this?

Leonie,
Vic

Dear Leonie,

You run your own business. So you know how to read the marketplace. If that is what you are picking up, that’s what is happening. Even when the truth is unpalatable, you face it don’t you? You don’t stick your head in the sand and hope that things will get better. You change, you adapt, you innovate.

The truth about the workplace is that it is trivial, superficial and youth focused. And if I could change it for you, I would. Older women in senior positions in male dominated industries are as common as hen’s teeth. So what on earth are you doing letting your hair go grey? Why take on that battle? You have your own battle breaking down all those walls for other women to follow in your path.

I am sure you do look sophisticated. But who cares. You are not auditioning for the role of a divorcee finding love at middle age.

It’s dog eat dog and you do what it takes. And if that means going through the tedium of sitting at the hairdressers to get your hair dyed so that you don’t wear a beacon on the top of your head signalling “I’m old”, then that is what you will do. Now book in.

Good luck!
Your Aunty B