I’m still procrastinating. Help!

So you have read my last two blogs and you are still not getting on with things? Still procrastinating? Have you tried giving yourself some powerful positive scripts:

This is just a passing phase.
Come on, you can do it.
It will feel so good to get this done.

You need to replace your negative thinking and procrastination scripts with positive thoughts – scripts that motivate you. You must take back control. Give yourself pep talks – using the new positive scripts.

You may have a cluster of more than one script you’re trying to replace, and you’ll need more than one script to replace them. Changing your scripts is about changing your habits.

Set deadlines

I respond well to pressure. It’s not everyone’s best way to work, but often under pressure you can do great work and reach a goal effectively. Most people respond to deadlines. Many of us get work done under very high pressure, right at the deadline when it is almost too late, despite plenty of lead up time. Deadlines can be beneficial because you become very focussed. But it’s risky to leave things until the last minute.

So try to overcome a block by setting your own deadline, prior to the actual deadline. This is essential when you have multiple tasks to complete. Tell yourself: I need a definite deadline, then set it and be guided by it.

Some people feel anxious and some even get physically sick as a deadline approaches. For these people it is essential to plan ahead and get tasks done in advance. This requires the discipline of breaking up the task into smaller bits and giving yourself earlier deadlines for each of these tasks, so that you never get to the stage of having one big deadline at the end. And you therefore no longer have anything to make you anxious or sick.

Don’t worry about what others think – decide what you want

Often we get caught up and block ourselves from moving forward by worrying about what others think of us or of our actions, our reports, our projects… We anticipate negative reactions and these can paralyse us from action. Sometimes we can generalise or exaggerate from one piece of negativity, for example, I don’t like that idea – to believing none of your ideas are any good. And if we do get a negative reaction… then it’s no wonder we procrastinate.

Instead, we should say to ourselves, so what? Be careful of the influence of negative people. Decide who you spend time with. We have to guard ourselves with positive scripts so that one negative reaction or ‘anticipated negative reaction’ doesn’t derail us.

Separate your own scripts from those of others, to give yourself control over your own emotions. Focus on what you really want, don’t be afraid of others’ opinions. This may require recognising your own angry reaction and putting it aside. Or it may be that you get so caught up in what others think that you cannot even take one step forward. You need to remind yourself not to worry about what others think, and focus on what you are trying to do.

Use the power of Don’t

Sometimes the best motivation for me is someone saying DON’T because it’s too hard, or you CAN’T because you don’t have the experience. Don’t is the conventional wisdom and sometimes is quite right and should be heeded. But it’s too easy to use that Don’t to further procrastinate. Questioning it is the way to find what really is right for you. But many times we are influenced by the Don’ts around us.

You don’t know what you’re doing.
You lack the track record – don’t even try.
Don’t stay up late the night before an exam.
Don’t try and do it all yourself.
Don’t get in over your head.
Don’t take on so much.
Don’t tackle this without getting someone who knows what they’re doing.

But many Don’ts are simply opinions from others about our future, our direction or our plans. With these we need to use the power of Don’t and not let it become a blocker. We need to stop ourselves reacting to the Don’t, as if it is a huge roadblock. We should use it as a constructive warning or as an opportunity to reevaluate our next step or test our ideas. Don’t should be turned into an energizer, not a Stop sign.

Challenge your own Don’ts and the Don’ts of others. The moment someone advises, for example, “Don’t work with friends”, ask why? Ask for examples. Challenge them. Remind yourself of why you do want to work with a particular friend.

Focus on what is right for you. Know your reasons for wanting to achieve and make it happen.

Eve Ash is co-author of ‘Rewrite Your Life!’ and ‘Rewrite Your Relationships!’ (Penguin Books) and producer of a wide range of best selling DVDs and resources.